we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
