I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
