Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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