Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
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