How'd it feel making her break her religion?
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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