school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
