Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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