And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
