You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
he thought i was a dude.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
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