Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
