Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
A bitchslap is in order.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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