He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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