____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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