Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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