Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
