Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
