I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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