Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
