So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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