Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
