You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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