hotel room ftw
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
