ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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