once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Boobs speak an international language.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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