My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
