Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
