Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize