OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I will pee on everything he values.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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