watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
