you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize