Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
