Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
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