So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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