Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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