does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
