you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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