i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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