I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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