Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
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