also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
