quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
