She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
my sisters under your porch take her home
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
