Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
