he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
