We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
