i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize
