ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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