so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
