I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
