they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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