idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
