I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Randomize