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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.

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• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night

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• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.

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• (914): View more from New York

  at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.

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• (214): View more from Texas

  Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?

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• (425): View more from Washington

  But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture

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• (727): View more from Florida

  A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.

  (1-727): View more from Florida

  His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.

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• (214): View more from Texas

  I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.

  (469): View more from Texas

  I have the flu.

  (214): View more from Texas

  I don't give a shit

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• (210): View more from Texas

  Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park

  (210): View more from Texas

  Surprise ending

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• (905): View more from Ontario

  I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society

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• (479): View more from Arkansas

  I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.

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• (909): View more from California

  I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.

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