So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
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All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize