She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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