I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
