He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
