my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Randomize