I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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