i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
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