TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
