dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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