Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
