Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize