I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
