Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
